Wednesday, 22 December 2010
The end
and thus brings about the end of the Homer trilogy in the future i shall look to produce detective novels with similar characters, keep watching this space.
At last the idiot learns
It was a cold snowy July morn in panty panty and the world was at peace as the recently ressurected Homer was frolicking through the enchanted internet he was back among the partially social people and could be now contacted at a moments notice.
However Homer being Homer being a goat, he had stupidly sent an affensive email to Mark Zuckerberg describing how terrible he was and that his website, despite Homer's need to use it or else all his friends would forget about him, was a piece of rubbish. This did not sit well with Zuckerberg the pony as he read his one insulting email a day, "I shall have to deal with mr Homer personally as this insult to myself and facebook shall not stand!"
So Zuckerberg travelled to Panty panty and met with Homer the overly grammatical owl, and gave him a stongly worded letter that not only told him to cease and decist but also called into question his ability to write as his stories were too fantisful for the readers to connect to the characters, and also questioned his mother's sexuallity.
reading the letter Homer began to cry, Zuckerberg then proceeded to take all of Homer's money and musical talent and proceeded to leave Panty panty while Homer lay sobbing.
The End.
However Homer being Homer being a goat, he had stupidly sent an affensive email to Mark Zuckerberg describing how terrible he was and that his website, despite Homer's need to use it or else all his friends would forget about him, was a piece of rubbish. This did not sit well with Zuckerberg the pony as he read his one insulting email a day, "I shall have to deal with mr Homer personally as this insult to myself and facebook shall not stand!"
So Zuckerberg travelled to Panty panty and met with Homer the overly grammatical owl, and gave him a stongly worded letter that not only told him to cease and decist but also called into question his ability to write as his stories were too fantisful for the readers to connect to the characters, and also questioned his mother's sexuallity.
reading the letter Homer began to cry, Zuckerberg then proceeded to take all of Homer's money and musical talent and proceeded to leave Panty panty while Homer lay sobbing.
The End.
Tuesday, 21 December 2010
The idiot to end all idiots
After being resurrected somehow, Homer the racist swan was back and this time he had a new idea that he thought would set the world on fire, "what if i get rid of the one of the most direct ways of contacting me! Why thats a brilliant notion," and with two clicks of a literal mouse the task was done.
"Now to sit back and see what i have acomplished," said our feline friend.
Minutes became hours, hours became days, days became minutes again (time is a funny thing) and still Homer the bee didnt hear from any of his supposed friends who had previously murdered him. "Why? oh Why? have they not joined my revolution he thought as he logged into his email account.
In his near empty inbox Homer the hound found one new email it was from his friend Sam, "This will cheer me up no end," remarked the kangeroo version of Homer. The Email read, Dear Homer I cant be bothered to txt you my phone is at least 2 metric feet away, and without facebook i can no longer contact you, this is an email to confirm the end of our friendship,
fond farewells,
Sam the bunny.
p.s everyone else feels the same but can't be bothered with the process of email.
It was the sadness from this email that prompted Homer the mexican to them overdose on potatoes and take his own life.
The End???
"Now to sit back and see what i have acomplished," said our feline friend.
Minutes became hours, hours became days, days became minutes again (time is a funny thing) and still Homer the bee didnt hear from any of his supposed friends who had previously murdered him. "Why? oh Why? have they not joined my revolution he thought as he logged into his email account.
In his near empty inbox Homer the hound found one new email it was from his friend Sam, "This will cheer me up no end," remarked the kangeroo version of Homer. The Email read, Dear Homer I cant be bothered to txt you my phone is at least 2 metric feet away, and without facebook i can no longer contact you, this is an email to confirm the end of our friendship,
fond farewells,
Sam the bunny.
p.s everyone else feels the same but can't be bothered with the process of email.
It was the sadness from this email that prompted Homer the mexican to them overdose on potatoes and take his own life.
The End???
A story to end all stories
Once upon a time in a land with a name that looked like Panty panty but was pronounced Brooklyn, there lived a boy called Homer, the term boy was used very loosely as he more resembled a wise cracking skunk. Oh how he loved to spend his days writing stories that just popped into his large yet overly small head, anything from potatoes to space badgers were icluded in his fantasmical stories. A clear lack of direction and chronology were evident in these stories but nontheless they were widely viewed.
On day while quilling his next masterpiece our fearless mongoose ( yes he's now a mongoose, I can do that) heard a gunshot outside his stately council flat, the sound cut through the air like a warm piece of toast cuts through a cold winter morning, our hero was scared...
Looking out of his window with a nervous stare he realised that there was indeed no danger as the wielder of the gun was none other than his chum-pall Malik, "Chuff, chuff choff." Said Malik as he rapped on the door much like a woodpecker raps on a plate of chips. Homer the goat leaped out of his beanbag and galloped as fast as his horse feet would take him to meet his part time lover, but that was his first and most deadliest mistake to date. As he opened the door he was greeted by not just malik but also a crowd of people who without seeking their permission he had incuded in his stories, and thus broke the image and likeness contracts Tetley had on his friends costing them £2.6 million in a lucrative sports deals with Nike. Each was armed with their weapon of choice, Malik a gun, Chris Duff a baseball bat, Sam with a Nurf gun, Laura a baking tray, Faye a mace, Tetley with guilt and Ruaridh with Hip.
Like a powerful panter in Ruaridh's nightmares they struck and knocked down our hero lobster. he was dead and they then proceeded to stuff his dead racoon body with the potatoes he was so fond of.
The End?
On day while quilling his next masterpiece our fearless mongoose ( yes he's now a mongoose, I can do that) heard a gunshot outside his stately council flat, the sound cut through the air like a warm piece of toast cuts through a cold winter morning, our hero was scared...
Looking out of his window with a nervous stare he realised that there was indeed no danger as the wielder of the gun was none other than his chum-pall Malik, "Chuff, chuff choff." Said Malik as he rapped on the door much like a woodpecker raps on a plate of chips. Homer the goat leaped out of his beanbag and galloped as fast as his horse feet would take him to meet his part time lover, but that was his first and most deadliest mistake to date. As he opened the door he was greeted by not just malik but also a crowd of people who without seeking their permission he had incuded in his stories, and thus broke the image and likeness contracts Tetley had on his friends costing them £2.6 million in a lucrative sports deals with Nike. Each was armed with their weapon of choice, Malik a gun, Chris Duff a baseball bat, Sam with a Nurf gun, Laura a baking tray, Faye a mace, Tetley with guilt and Ruaridh with Hip.
Like a powerful panter in Ruaridh's nightmares they struck and knocked down our hero lobster. he was dead and they then proceeded to stuff his dead racoon body with the potatoes he was so fond of.
The End?
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